#i will trans everyone's gender and you can't stop me

[farseerofv0id]

*scrolling through the tag for the first time*

"Mizu is a trans man and so it's transphobic for the creators to show part of his life as a woman or talk about him with she/her at all"

*absurd amount of self control not to engage in what would become a fruitless discussion, ultimately keep scrolling*

"Mizu is a woman and it's disrespectful to women to call her a trans man because it takes away a 'strong woman' representation"

*scream into a pillow*

[thekimspoblog]

For what it's worth, I think you're ALL idiots!

[unb1nding-t-b0y]

Hey trans girls! I love that y'all like estrogen so much better! I love that you like your transition and feel so much more free and fulfilled without the effects of Testosterone. That's great!!! However can we stop with the omg testosterone is evil talk??? Please? Cuz if you wanna go there I can. I could rant for hours about "why would ANYONE want girlmones???" and id have a mile long list of all the ways it made me feel shitty. However I keep that shit to myself because I understand that not everyones experience is mine. There's no excuse for the way so many trans women have torn down and insulted the gender affirming care that FINALLY made ME comfortable in MY skin. You don't get it and that's fine but save it I don't need to hear it everytime I go out and hang out with other trannies. Seriously Everytime I've gone to hangout with a group of mostly trans girls one of you can't resist insulting me and my transition and it's not fucking ok.

[versegm]

Reminders:

"Intersex" means "someone born with sexual characteristics that don't fit quite well in the male/female sex binary."

"Intersex" is not synonymous to "non-binary". In fact, being intersex has nothing to do with gender at all. Intersex and trans people have many struggles in common, but if you're talking about trans-specific issues you really don't need to say "intersex and trans people".

Intersex people can be trans. Intersex people can also be cis. Intersex people, in the majority of countries, are assigned a gender at birth just like everyone else.

"Intersex" doesn't necessarily relate to genitals. When I say "sexual characteristics" it can also mean secondary sexual characteristics, hormone levels, chromosomes, and probably a bunch of other shit I forgot about. Please stop reducing intersex people to their genitals.

(On that note, having both working sets of genitals is at best extremely rare and at worst physically impossible. Sorry, intersex people can't fulfill your futa fantasies. Please stop tagging futa shit as intersex. The two are unrelated.)

Please. This pride month remember that intersex people like. Exist. Intersex folks are not hypotheticals they're not "that one letter we gotta tack at the end of every queer post and never think about any further" they're. People. Remember that they exist. Every year I have to make a post like this one where I explain the very basic things you can learn by reading the intersex wikipedia page because people see "intersex" and make assumptions as to what the word means without actually reading the dictionary definition. Please remember that intersex people exist, I looked up "intersex pride" on tumblr and half the posts I saw were a variation of "happy pride to people of all genders and sexualities!" when being intersex has nothing to do with either gender or sexuality. Please. I understand that you guys don't mean any ill, but I am very tired of making basic posts over and over.

And inb4 someone tries to strike dumb discourse on this post: I live in a country where it is legal and encouraged to perform surgery on intersex infants. Looking up "intersex athlete controversy" returned to me like three different cases of athletes who were coerced into surgery without being informed of all the risks and having to lead with lifelong consequences for it. When I say "remember intersex people" I don't mean "uwu intersex people are valid" I mean they're a demographic whose literal human rights are constantly spit upon. I don't give a shit if you think intersex people belong or not under the queer umbrella or what you think are the proper qualifications to identify as intersex literally everytime I talk to an intersex person I hear a variation of "my doctor straight-up lied to me to get me to undergo medical procedures to make me normal without my consent or input" I think people should be aware of that actually I think it's more important than arguing over labels.

[nientedal]

Good news! While bone density might be a real concern if someone was on puberty blockers more than a couple years or into adulthood, blockers are generally not prescribed for that long. Once a kid has had some extra time to figure themself out, they either get on HRT or not and their metabolisms proceed to add bone mineral density (BMD) basically as normal. It's a risk, sure (though one study I read that reported lower BMD in trans youth also noted suboptimal calcium intake and decreased physical activity in the people they had studied, which would be risk factors in any child), but that's why doctors are advised to monitor bone density throughout the regimen of blockers. See Table 7 and the section on side effects in this paper published in The Journal of Clinical Endocrinology & Metabolism, Volume 102, Issue 11, 1 November 2017, Pages 3869–3903, https://doi.org/10.1210/jc.2017-01658. Supplements can be offered to combat this issue if it becomes a concern.

Vaginal atrophy is also reversible to some extent and is treatable in basically any case I could find (I'm at work so unfortunately I cannot do as much research on this one). There are LOADS of resources available for people struggling with this, postmenopausal cisgender women being arguably the largest group affected. If indeed genital atrophy is a major concern for children whose bodies are still growing and often able to catch up developmentally when puberty resumes, that will be monitored by their physicians.

I swear to god, people have GOT to stop talking about puberty blockers as if a kid is just handed a bunch of pills and waved out the door, never to talk to their doctor again. That is a WILDLY disingenuous way to discuss these treatments, which involve far more developmental monitoring than is offered to most cisgender children (who, fun fact, occasionally need to take puberty blockers). And you should be ashamed for ignoring the fact that puberty ALSO causes irreversible changes that are ALSO incredibly damaging to trans people and expensive to correct. Any damage caused by puberty blockers (and I'm still not convinced the damage you're describing is guaranteed) can be tracked and mitigated. The damage caused by puberty cannot. Even if you're right and these are certain and irreversible side effects, it would be a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation; to feign otherwise is ignorant to the point of malice.

(Also, kinda odd that you jumped directly to "oh this is about trans children specifically," as if it could not also be about reproductive rights. Or trans adults. The push to deny people the right to decide what happens to their bodies is not exclusive to trans youth, and yeah, I'm gonna mock the shit out of control-freak, overreaching, fearmongering, pearl-clutching, fucking invasive "concerns" that center solely on someone else's potential regret.)

Anyway. Isn't it great how we have the ability to monitor and mitigate side effects? Isn't that just the best? Isn't that fantastic news? Don't you feel reassured? Maybe now you can stay out of other people's treatment. Just butt entirely the fuck out of other people's medical care. You get to decide what you wanna do with your body, and I get to decide what I wanna do with mine, and parents get to help their kids make informed decisions about what they wanna do with theirs, and nobody has to spout fearmongering nonsense about how harm is the only outcome and it's better for kids to suffer permanent unwanted changes than risk the horrors of [checks notes] calcium supplements and estrogen creams.

Seriously, dude. What the fuck.

If you have bodily autonomy, then there is always a chance that you will do something to your body that you will regret. This is not an argument for taking that autonomy away.

[mr-ribbit]

gonna rant again bc im seeing a lot of trans women on my dash having to carry the heavy lifting to argue for their basic respect and a lot of other queer people who want to ??? get mad about that apparently. for the record as usual: im tme, im not speaking for anyone besides myself and my perspectives, but I am trying to reach out to fellow tme people to level with y'all from inside the house.

i thought we all got past the 'calling people gendered terms when theyve asked you to stop' thing in like. 2012. i swear we were allllll on board with not calling women dude anymore, nerfing sir and ma'am, neutralizing collective terms for groups, and all of that was like, during the onceler era. that's how we got off-putting shit like folx into the mix - remember???? why are we here again.

to those who I've seen claiming that they REALLY genuinely don't want to offend anyone, and that theyre trying to understand the dude thing, and they don't want to be seen as transmisogynistic when they aren't: ok. let's talk about it. step one, stop sending that really loaded anon to a trans woman you don't know, and close that in-group hatepost with 100 replies from people name-dropping trans bloggers they don't like. try to open your mind and assume for the duration of this post that I am not cynically trying manipulate thousands of tumblr users into making Bro the next big swear word, but a fellow queer human being who thinks you're all being pretty intentionally obtuse about an upsetting trend in our community

to be clear: this post is about the issue of trans women being called bro, dude, man, etc., particularly in recent tumblr discourse about transmisogyny, and the backlash they face if they get upset about it. this is also maybe moreso about the shitty ass excuses I see tme people make for why they supposedly can't stop doing this.

so let's go through some of the things I've been seeing people say they don't understand, supposedly in earnest, about this issue

"I DIDNT USE DUDE AS A MASCULINE TERM. I CALL EVERYONE BRO. MAN IS A GENDER NEUTRAL TERM"

I'm not actually going to exhaust my list of reasons why dude/bro/man are not strictly neutral, but you should be pretty aware that all words have context. Dude might be seen as neutral in many contexts, sure, but 'woman who is frequently called a man by others' is a situation where the context adds extra meaning to your words, just like calling someone "sweetie" might be neutral in some cases, but if you've got the context of knowing that's your coworker who's half your age, it's a bit less neutral. If you're not capable of reading that context and being tasteful about when you say dude, then you need to at least be ready to respond gracefully when someone asks you to stop. This is the part I'd rather focus on.

"BUT I DIDNT MEAN IT THAT WAY. IM NOT TRANSPHOBIC"

I think you should consider broadening your perspective *beyond* your intention behind the word. people may already understand that you meant the word neutrally and therefore didn't have transmisogynistic intent, but that's not really the entire scope of what people are saying. if that's your only concern, you're just trying to clear your record, not actually listen to what they're saying.

there are lots of words people don't enjoy being called, and in most cases, when they say 'pls don't call me that', people respect that and move on. even if the word isn't a slur, if it hurts someone's feelings, we all as a society have agreed that it's pretty shitty to keep calling them that. if your friend asked you not to call them 'buddy' anymore because their dead grandparent called them that, or something equivalently personal, you'd probably respect that instead of telling them 'but I call everyone buddy!!' right? even if you didn't really understand why it bothered them so much?

there is a prominent tendency for trans women to be denied this privilege, and when they ask not to be called dude or bro, people don't seem to respect this request as much as they would in other situations. when I accidentally use a gendered word and someone tells me they don't like it, I try to respond with something like "my bad, I didn't mean it as misgendering but I can see you were still bothered by it, so I'll try not to keep saying it. sorry!" and most people are willing to accept that. when trans women ask people this favor, a lot of people get VERY defensive, and treat the request as inane or unfair, instead of just apologizing and moving on. this is why people are upset when this happens, and it's why people are calling your actions transmisogynistic

also like you might not be doing this, but a lot of people DO use dude and bro in an intentionally gendered way to make trans women uncomfortable. it's a power play bigots use to talk down to them or otherwise maliciously harass them. do you know what arguments they use to defend that behavior when called out on it? 'oh I call everyone that' 'dude is gender neutral calm down' 'dont overreact its just a word'. by acting like this, youre all just giving credence to those same arguments.

"WELL THEY SHOULDNT GET SO MAD AT ME WHEN I DIDNT MEAN ANY HARM"

they can get as mad as they want!! also, are you sure they're 'mad'? or are they just expressing their feelings about a negative topic to you, and it makes you feel bad, so you have to make them out to be unreasonably emotional? how do you think they should have phrased 'dont call me that' to better spare *your* feelings?

also like, in most cases, these women do not knowww you. if your main response to someone saying you disrespected them is to say "I didnt mean it that way, I meant it in a friendly neutral way", well that's NOT YOUR FRIEND! she has no idea what your opinions are or what you think of her!!! she has no reason to assume you only upset her in a friendly way and not a bad unfriendly way! but she did get upset, and she did the one thing she can do which is *tell you what upset her* and your response is to say "well actually you shouldn't be upset at all"??????

and another thing:

it's not just the issue of using the word 'dude', it's because you're coming off extremely dismissive of women who have asked you to stop doing something that harms them, and because your argument is basically that they just shouldn't be so bothered by it. or that they're stupid, irrational, or otherwise crazy for telling you that it bothered them at all, just because you Technically used a gender neutral word according to Your Rules. be honest, does that seem fair? If people were calling you something that bothered you enough to ask them to stop, and they responded like this, how would it make you feel?

focusing solely on your intent and what the words mean when you use them is the same thing as saying "just get over it". no woman should need to Prove to you that 'dude' is gendered for you to care about what she's saying. the fact that you're asking people to do that sucks and makes you look bad, which is why people are arguing with you and calling you a misogynist.

especially those of you who are only doing this with trans women who are actively arguing with. you're wielding misgendering as a cudgel and we can all see it, grow up please.

[genderqueerdykes]

trans men and women learn a lot from each other when we get close and it's a wonderful thing. it's okay to be dysphoric about manhood. it's okay to be dysphoric about womanhood. it's okay to not like he/him pronouns, to not like she/her pronouns. it's okay to not like how strangers gender you. it's okay to talk about these things with each other, to share mutual disgust, to see how it affects one another and how it shapes our identities and experiences.

it's okay to talk about the things that make you uncomfortable together. it's not invalidating each other's experiences to have conversations like saying "i'm so tired of being seen as a man no matter what, and being around people who treat me like a man" to a trans man and having the trans man respond by saying "i feel the same way about people who treat me like a woman" and agree to not project one's trauma on to the other

it's okay to be vulnerable. it's okay to admit when we don't understand certain parts of each others experiences, too. we do NOT have to act like experts and like we've "read the book" on what another person's gender is. even if we think we know a lot about that gender, we don't know everything, because we don't know everyone. literally. it's okay to go "i don't understand, but I'll call you whatever you identify as." and be receptive without knowing exactly what they mean.

we don't understand many things in life. that's fine. it's okay to just listen and not talk for once. you don't have to try to speak as though you've lived as a trans man when you're a trans women, and you don't have to speak for trans women if you're a trans man. we are allowed to advocate for our own experiences and simultaneously listen to other queer experiences and respect their boundaries, spaces, and needs.

there is a lot to learn about the challenges that trans women face, the unique struggles that come with some being raised as boys and the troubles that come with that, being seen as a feminine boy, being subjected to homophobia- getting called faggots and other slurs. some were raised as girls, some are intersex, and some are afab or other birth sexes, and the mixing of masculinity and femininity and cause a lot of issues when it comes to how society treats that person

there are lots of conversations that have to be listened to when it comes to the transmasculine experience and how nobody but transmasc people can articulate what it's like to live as a transmasculine person. no one can speculate on it, because it is such a unique experience. it is a complicated matter of several different types of prejudice that no one else can quite understand where it comes from and how it feels unless they've been there

it is so deeply rooted in misogyny, where people treat us like "stupid, confused women," like we're "destroying children" that we're 'destroying our bodies', that our hormones make us "unstable, irritable and emotional," and that we are unreliable narrators. we get called hysterical. we get told we're "ruining a pretty girl" or wasting our "pretty" features. we get lectured about how we need to be attractive and how testosterone will ruin that by our own parents. we get told we can't dress masc because it will make us "ugly" or "butch" or "dykes".

people hate it when we bind our breasts, cut our hair, hide our curves, change our gait, and stop wearing makeup. they lose a "girl" to ogle and become enraged, upset or uncomfortable. while the transmasc person is trying to navigate life in a way where they don't feel objectified, it becomes a matter of even worse objectification because now antimasculism is introduced into the mix and the experience becomes transandrophobia.

people are so hateful and bitter toward manhood and masculinity. people ask us "why would you EVER want to be a man? NOBODY wants to be a man." they tell us "men are ugly, violent, and mean." people tell us that men are sexual predators, that they're inherently abusive. people tell us that testosterone makes people ugly. they tell us that men aren't or can't be queer. they tell us we can't be a feminine man. they tell us we can't be men at all, that transmasculinity isn't even a thing, that transmanhood isn't a thing. we even get told that the only way to be trans is to be transfeminine, and what we are experiencing is a delusion, hysteria, or a result of us being hormonal from being on our periods and/or HRT.

when we listen to each others' experiences we realize how people who are othered by society are treated. we learn that not only we experiencing this, but so is everyone around us. we do not have to try to make one side's experience more important than another's. we can hold each other up by having conversations and being vulnerable about what's going on, how we're being treated, how we want to be treated, and how the community is failing us and how we can do better.

we deserve to have conversations. there's a lot to learn, a lot to laugh about, a lot to relate to, and a lot to be curious about. these conversations are good to have. it's good to admit when you know nothing about transmasculinity or transfemininity or any other identity. it's okay to ask respectful questions. it's okay to tell people when you appreciate their identities, and them explaining it to you. it's okay to just listen. it really is. we have to learn to listen it's not something that can be avoided perpetually for life. listening to someone else's conversation does not erase yours, it does not take it away from the equation. they exist together.

[royalberryriku]

Okay but I gotta point out this person's audacity in being sexist af and yes she is being sexist. Let me explain miss @icanbeoriginal2 because I'm real tired of women acting like womanhood exempts them from being sexist to everyone else and misogynistic to other women.

You seem to think womanhood is a huge painful experience of something that MUST be bad because otherwise none of this makes sense because you HATE womanhood so much. Beings woman is so abhorrent to you that the automatic assumption is that the only way anyone would change from womanhood is because of bad expeirences. It never occurs to you that there's anything positive.

Let's also have a little talk about how you view gender as biological, because that's... Mmn, yeah let's not do that. See gender roles aren't just made up concepts based on nothing, they're based on how cisgender men want women to remain in certain roles such as; being mothers, bearing children (even if they don't what to) and taking care of men as if they're giant children. The entire idea that "men can't help but be violent and gut women" is a sexist idea pushed to explain the system that coddles men who are violent. It isn't natural, but taught. The idea that these roles are biological and unchangeable are central to sexism, and your little instant rambling of "but! but! you're this because I say so and you need to fulfil this role and use these words!!" is part of that.

Frankly, trying to tell women or men who they are and how they ought to be treated purely because of what genitals they have IS sexism. It's the entire point of sexism. So yes, I think your insistence that OP needs to be treated a certain way because you see them as a woman is freaking sexist, which is of course why you're talking down them then as well because I think we both know at this point if OP were a cisgender man you wouldn't be acting like they can't make their own decisions and bodily autonomy. Frankly, you're actually treating OO way worse than you'd treat a cis woman so let's be clear; they aren't a woman or a man to you, they're LESSER than a woman because you're offended they aren't in the role you think anyone with a vagina should be.

Also let's talk about how you think everything regarding gender must be a choice, because apparently everything is a choice, that tends to be the assumption with people who have a lot of those and why so many TERFs happen to be political lesbians; aka heterosexual women who think being a lesbian is a choice to get away from men. I think that's very telling to the mindset here and the general idea that queer people must surely be making a choice out of the "men are scary and inherently violent" idea, which again is also just sexism.

"I'm sorry you've had bad experiences with women" why do you think that is? Do you think you're biologically incapable of being sexist? Of internalizing shit? Are you that arrogant? Let's actually talk about your assumptions before even engaging in this because, at its root, it's based in judging someone on the basis of sex. If I'm a man with a dick, I don't have an opinion on this and am, by default, sexist by calling you out, if I'm a man who has a vagina, then I'm silly and confused. If I'm a woman who uses he/him as a butch queer, I'm also a silly woman who doesn't know what words mean and "should just say I'm a woman who likes women" when I'd know that fully, but there's a whole culture of being butch that heterosexual feminists seem to hate and ignore so what the fuck do I know.

So please tell me how "not sexist" you are when anything I say changes as soon as you know what's in my pants and anything OP says is subject to change in meaning depending on if they're a dainty ass woman who you think can't have authority on their own life or a man who you don't seem as inclined to say the same shit about. To me? That's sexism and I'm not putting my hopes of feminism to a sexist lady who determines value based on sex rather than who we are as people.

terfs and general cissexists reblogging my posts about vagina ownership and tagging them with shit like ‘the agony of womanhood 🥺’ girl no this is a post about my he/him monstertruck testosterone drenched man cave

[pressureplus]

sebby x transmasc reader headcanons? i'm feeling self indulgent today >:)

Whoo, Yeah! I'm finally getting to answer this one! I personally have little to no gender at any point in time, and my lovely Co-Star has all of the gender and fluctuates fairly regularly between the shiny genders they've collected. So this is written from the shared trans braincell, gotta support the homies ✨

(Hope you have a wonderful day!)

Sebastian Solace x Transmasc Reader

[Warnings: Transphobia and misgendering (neither one from Sebby) and mentions of Dysphoria]

◞꒷◟ ͜ ͜ ◞ྀི◟୨୧◞ྀི◟ ͜ ͜ ◞꒷◟◞꒷◟ ͜ ͜ ◞ྀི◟୨୧◞ྀི◟ ͜

• Honestly, this fish bastard couldn't care less

• Your gender, job, and species are COMPLETELY irrelevant to him, the ONLY thing he really cares about is whether or not you are going to buy his stuff

• His gender? Shopkeeper. Now give him your data-

• If it's not addressed, you are literally just another man that Urbanshade sent on a suicide mission, he really doesn't care what is or is not in your boxers

• Can't stress enough that he's ONLY supportive when you or someone else brings it up, Sebby never pushes the topic. If you didn't know you told him or that he found out, you'd honestly think he didn't know

• Now, are there ways this becomes relevant to him? No, absolutely not, you are just another guy that's going to buy an expensive flashlight and then die several terrible deaths.

• It's not until one of the other expendables starts to misgender you that he even seems to notice

• "She? I don't particularly see any women in my shop at the moment- If you're sick I'm going to have to ask you to leave so we don't catch whatever nasty thing you have."

• "I think you meant 'Him', as in 'I am going to hand Him my gun and look away when He makes you a stain on my tile'. Do you understand me, expendable?"

• "It's funny hearing someone only packing 3 inches try to decide what is and isn't a man. I think we all know his is bigger than yours is, so if you could shut up about it that would be great."

• Sometimes he's more sassy, sometimes more outwardly aggressive, and occasionally he tells someone off in a way that's a bit more on the side of entertaining, but he does always make a point to stick up for you

• If you need your hair cut, he'll do it. He cuts his own hair and has for the last decade, so he's actually pretty good at it! Better at messy styles, but he'll try a clean one if you really want him to

• "If you die because your hair is in your eyes, I won't get your data. You must understand this is to my own benefit, Y/N."

• Sebastian is... Starting to call you by your name. You're not sure when you stopped being an expendable like everyone else and started being the name you actually chose for yourself, but you've surely become different to him

• Sebastian was born a man, and handles issues regarding your situation completely casually unless it 100% HAS to be verbally brought up, so you are left completely confused by what you did to get closer to him like this

• Was it somewhere between him validating you or defending you? Was it when he sat with you for the first or third time while you were wrestling your disphoria? Was it trust, or maybe pity... It couldn't be pity, right?

• One day you'll find out he's sees himself in you

• He says it like a joke when he starts to talk about how they treat you differently when they don't understand you. Researchers treated him the same way a handful of the other people down here treat you.

• He knows it's not quite the same, but it feels the same for him sometimes. When they call him 'it' instead of he... Sometimes he calls himself an 'it' or a 'thing', too even though he knows he hates that. Do you feel that way when they call you a she? He'll just go ahead and start banning those people for you both, he doesn't like them anyway.

• He isn't comfortable in his own body anymore either. He didn't choose what he is now the same way you didn't choose what you were born as

• Sometimes, his body doesn't fit right, either. He hates that he understands that feeling, but he does...

• He's starting to get comfortable with that familiarity, and with maybe not feeling so alone

• Is it wrong of him to enjoy having found someone he can relate to? If even just a little?

• Sebastian knows it's probably awful of him, but he's making a point to be good to you for it

• It makes himself feel better for a while when you can connect like that so naturally...

• It makes him feel human again.

[aloeverified]

i love all of @gin-juice-tonic's trans stan twins comics and i've centered all my gf beliefs around them, but i can't stop thinking about how funny it would be for stan to be a trans man and ford to be a trans woman.

imagine you're stan and you've been disowned for about ten years and haven't seen your family at all since, and during that time you've found and lost yourself more times than you can count, but you've finally settled on the fact that you're a man and it's time for you to transition. and then as soon as can finally start testosterone, your twin brother wants to see you ASAP.

and so you're stressed out the entire way there, not just because your brother seems to have gotten into some trouble, but because you have no clue how he's gonna react to you now being his brother.

only for him to not even notice or say a single thing about your new wardrobe that still has some of the tags from when you shoplifted it or about the scruff on your chin that you've been pretty proud of.

no, instead he's going on about the fbi and people who want to steal his skin or something.

and so everything happens the same way, and stan has essentially gotten the life he's always wanted: everyone thinks he's his genius brother, he's still in contact with his family (though stanford didn't exactly call home everyday so neither does he), and he's a man — and not one person doubts it. except he's not the man he's always wanted to be because he doesn't have his brother beside him throughout it all, becoming a man with him.

and then stanford comes back and is impossibly autistic and bitter so he just assumes stan went through the process of transition (assuming he used some gender changing potion he found noted about in the journal) just to further steal ford's identity.

and stan explains, no, you fucking idiot, i've been a man for thirty-something odd years and you just didn't notice because you were too busy being insane. and so yeah, that's how stan's whole coming out goes.

and ford just responds with, "oh. yeah, me too. she/they is fine."

[velvetvexations]

in regards to the forcemasc/forcefem argument, it's so. stupid and inane and insidious. "why would these men who have actively experienced social forcefem in a painful or traumatic way ever want to engage with a kink they find compelling while changing it so as not to remind them of the (often painful/degrading/helpless) experience of dysphoria? they just want forcefem but for boys 😡" like yeah. maybe they do. that's crazy that two similar groups might seek gender euphoria in ways unique to their own experience, with neither more real or valid or socially martyred than the other.

like, it's really giving "our glorious gender euphoria" "their evil disgusting perversion of our unique challenges" like it it genuinely not that deep. i can't imagine being that unempathetic towards people who are literally trying to use the same coping mechanism that you are. that's wild

furthermore the whole "they're taking OUR hard-earned toys that we did the work to reclaim >:((" is so stupid. tell me in fewer words that you never leave tumblr. it's a handful of kink blogs who are playing with the idea of kink mixed with gender euphoria. its not a wholly unique idea and kink works very differently than they seem to think it does.

and furthermore!! one last thing. i HATE how forcefem is the current big meme. i'm respectful about it because i understand like. different strokes for different folks, what's harmful for me is healing for others. but "everyone should be forcefemmed" "forcefems you" "if you dont want to be forcefemmed then you're no fun" or!! or. the idea of forcefemming is a little too close to my own personal trauma around gender and transness. idk i just cant wait until it stops being everywhere untagged

It's hard to overstate how much forcefem is still a cis man thing when you step outside of trans leftist circles on social media.

[foone]

One thing I think about a lot is that how omegaverse is a sort of meta-setting that can and has been applied to many different fandoms, right?

So there's "omegaverse supernatural" (because that's where it started) and "omegaverse star trek" and "omegaverse Frasier" and "omegaverse Batman" and "omegaverse US presidents".

You can basically easily apply it to any fandom with lots of men in it, which turns out to be most of them. (and you can apply it to the rare female-majority fandoms with a bit of extra work).

But the interesting thing to me is that omegaverse depends on characters having subgenders: alpha/beta/omega are effectively gender roles on top of the regular male/female ones, but they're ones not specified in the original fiction, right? (I mean, not usually).

So like, you can watch NewsRadio and it makes it pretty clear Dave is a man, but it never specifies if he's an alpha or omega, because why would it? Also, why is my go-to example of a random sitcom one from 1995?

Anyway. So you've got a bunch of characters with canonical genders (not that that has ever stopped fans from headcanoning them as different! Dave is a trans man, Lisa is a trans woman, and Bill? All Phil Hartman characters are closeted trans women, so jot that down), but you don't have canonical subgenders.

So fans have to decide which characters in a fiction are alphas and omegas and so on. They tend to be pretty consistent for most characters, actually.

But the part that interests me despite not really reading omegaverse stuff is just those headcanons.

Like, I can take a show I know well, like say Star Trek: The Next Generation, and find out what the fans think their subgenders are.

Like, I'm gonna guess that Riker and Worf are alphas. Picard could go either way. LaForge is an omega, Data is... An android, but he's had sex, so... I'm gonna guess alpha? O'Brien is an omega, but that's mostly going off DS9. Maybe he wasn't in TNG yet? Wesley I'm guessing gets headcanoned as omega.

And see, now I can go look at ao3 and see what other people think for these! And for some reason that's way more interesting to me than just reading any omegaverse fic.

I think we should do more of this sort of shit. I mean, I guess we kinda do for things like top/bottom, dom/sub, trans/cis, but I demand more subgenders! Subgenders that aren't depicted in the fiction but fans have to headcanon.

I kinda want to make a sort of wiki website which works by scraping ao3 tags and assigning alpha/beta/omega to characters from shows, basically a fan vote on how people headcanon the subgenders of these characters.

Anyway I checked and oh boy yeah everyone says Wesley is an omega. Apparently Zefram Cochrane is an omega too.

And the one fic I saw with Data in it made him an omega. Huh. Interesting.

I dunno. It's weird: I've got no interest in reading a fic where these characters fuck in their weird omegaverse ways, but I can't not be interested in knowing how fans headcanon them.

[busket]

trans men i say this with love: we NEED to stop acknowledging comments from transphobes saying stuff like "you'll never be a real woman" and acting like it's sooo funny that transphobes can't tell that we aren't trans women, and being like "omg they tried to insult me but they were accidentally gender affirming!! like thank you!! 🤣"

we can laugh at transphobes for saying "we can always tell" despite being dumb as shit and never being able to tell. and I recognize that humor is a kneejerk response to someone attempting to insult you and failing horribly. but the joke is at the expense of trans women, they get caught in the crossfire. you're telling our trans sisters "omfg this person was incredibly VIOLENT to me because they thought I was YOU! isnt that funny? they tried to insult ME with the insult that is meant for YOU!" that's not funny. that's not kind.

and you know that transphobe is copypasting that hateful comment to everyone they read as trans, including trans women, and they're looking for a reaction. because that is what bullies want! you block and you move on. tell your friends if you really need to vent. you don't need to remind trans women that they are under fire for being hypervisible in our community. solidarity is not hard.

[adolfusraptor1985]

Therian Vs. Trans (part 2)

"Transspecies is nothing like transgender!"

"Stop comparing being nonhuman to being trans!"

"It's wrong to equate your experience with transphobia!"

SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP.

If you agree with any of these statements, I'm begging you, please do not interact with this post or my blog in general.

Seriously, I'm so tired of people telling me how to compare MY OWN experiences. I want to make it extremely clear to everyone that I myself am transgender. When I speak about my experiences I am not speaking for all trans people or all alterhuman people. I am only speaking for myself and what I personally go through. When I hear statements like the ones above, I feel as though I'm being told I am wrong or invalid for feeling what I feel.

I have bad dysphoria over being born both human and female. I believe with every bone in my body that I am neither human nor female. I don't identify at all with being human nor female, even though I was born that way, because deep down it feels wrong. I am outcast, hated on, and told I'm mentally ill by people for being both transgender and transspecies.

Don't tell me I can't fucking compare those two.

Every single aspect of my experiences with gender and species identity are near identical to one another. That's just how it is for me. Live with it. I'm not going to lie about my identity and how it feels just because it's different for other people. Again, I'm only speaking for myself here.

Just because I can't physically transition to become an animal doesn't mean that my transspecies experience is somehow radically different than being transgender. Besides, last time I checked, you don't have to transition to be trans. Don't get me wrong, "species affirming care" would be great for my dysphoria, but it's not something that needs to exist.

The point here is, just let me talk about my life how I live it. I can't change the fact that this is how things are for me. And I have the right to talk about what I go through just as much as the next person. My experience is my own, so quit telling me it's wrong.

Thank you.

-Mal

[genderqueerdykes]

someone brought up the concept of going stealth in a trans server and it made me kind of realize a thing I never see people talk about when the concept of ‘stealth privilege’ (not scare quotes just quotes) is mentioned. maybe it is mentioned but i’ve never seen it

I’m nonbinary/multigender. I can’t fucking DO stealth. I’d have to shove myself into the closet and present as a cis [my agab] or transition to looking like a cis [not my agab] (like i have the money for that (i don’t)). The closest I get to that is not mentioning my gender online IDK it just really hit me that if shit hit the fan a lot of nonbinary people would have to suck it up and present as a gender they don’t identify as. And y’know obviously in a case where i’d have to recloset myself or where other nbies would have to, I’d/we’d have way bigger worries than gender presentation and dysphoria but i never really thought about the fact that I don’t have the option to transition and then go stealth mode as someone who wants a very gender-fuck presentation

There isn’t really a point to this it just made me think more about the stuff you always talk about like how multigender people are consistently excluded from trans conversations.

(ALSO YES THERE’S ALL THE OTHER STUFF ABT STEALTH PRIVILEGE LIKE HOW GROUPS OF PEOPLE CANNOT TRANSITION OR STILL WOULDN’T BE SAFE IF GOING STEALTH, ETC ETC. THERE’S ALSO A LOT OF TRANS PEOPLE WHO COULDN’T GO STEALTH AND WOULD HAVE TO RECLOSET IN A SCENARIO WHERE YOU’D NEED TO PRETEND TO BE CIS. NOT IGNORING THAT. JUST. NOT THE POINT I’M BRINGING UP)

it's a tough conversation and while it's good that some people can go stealth, even if it's painful, even if it is presenting as the wrong gender, other trans people struggle to find ways to do that in the first place. some people can fit into the narrow male-female binary and pass as a cisgender person of gender they don't identify as for safety reasons and while it's horrible, it's good to have that there

i can't go stealth, either, it's impossible for me. i'm either gendered as a genderqueer cis guy (everyone in my neighbor thinks i'm a cis man, whenever i bring up that i'm trans theyre shocked). people dont ignore my feminine clothes or make my makeup either. ive tried to pass as a cishet "normal" looking man for a long time and while most strangers in passing didnt catch on a lot of people in my life gave me shit for it

im misgendered constantly, im sexualized for my hips and ass, but people are threatened by my beard and deep voice. i can't pass as a cis woman because of that, or how big and bulky and hairy my body is. but yet when people find out i have a uterus, i'm being constantly gendered as a straight woman instead of being recognized as a gay trans man

i can't even pass as a cis butch lesbian anymore. i'm genderfucked, like you said. there's nothing left to pass as

i don't know how to present in order to look "normal" anymore. i'm intersex. i have literally never been able to figure this out. my body is too masculine for womens clothes, too feminine for mens clothes. im androgynous, a hermaphrodite, theres nothing i can do to stop making people question my gender when they see me.

nobody should have to go stealth but some queer people literally can't, you're right. i think often about how the hell i'm supposed to unqueer myself for "Serious" situations. i can't figure it out

[molsno]

one of mainstream feminism's largest failures of the past decade or so was the propagation of the term "toxic masculinity." I don't mean to say that the ways that men uphold rigid, overly-restrictive notions of masculinity shouldn't be discussed and criticized, but the name given to this phenomenon failed to accurately describe it for what it is: transmisogyny.

I think that here, julia serano's definition of transmisogyny makes it clear why that's a better word to describe this phenomenon. transmisogyny is the intersection between oppositional sexism, which is rooted in the belief that male and female are rigid, mutually exclusive, and "opposite" categories with no overlap between them whatsoever; and traditional sexism, the presumption that femininity is innately inferior to masculinity. when these two forms of sexism intersect, the result is transmisogyny.

when you look at it this way, it becomes clear why "toxic masculinity" is an insufficient term. when a man chastises a young boy for crying, or when a woman mocks her male date for ordering a fruity drink at a bar, it's a message that communicates two things:

"you're a man. that behavior is categorized as feminine, so it is off-limits to you."

"because that behavior is categorized as feminine, doing it anyway will make you inferior to other men."

because the message is a combination of these two forms of sexism, it's transmisogyny, even if the person being chastised is not transfem or even gender non-conforming. however, let's be clear: this doesn't mean that men are uniquely victimized by transmisogyny. while yes, it is painful for some men to be held to these expectations, by and large, it is men who stand to gain the most by upholding them.

the goal behind this particular instance of transmisogyny is to discourage men from becoming "lesser" in the eyes of society. it is to punish them for being feminine, so that they will police themselves without anyone needing to punish them further. it is to prevent anyone assigned male at birth from even thinking about partaking in femininity. it is to stop trans women from existing, because we vehemently reject the notions that the two sexes are opposites with no overlap and that femininity is inferior to masculinity in the first place.

men benefit from this form of transmisogyny, and until now, they've never been held accountable for it. sure, maybe cis women will ridicule a man who refuses to order a lavender drink at a coffee shop and only uses 3-in-1 shampoo with "men's" in a big bold font on the label for being insecure in his masculinity, but this minor grievance is easily outweighed by the many privileges he holds for being masculine. maintaining these privileges is of the utmost importance for him, which is why, even after years of mainstream feminists raising awareness about and mocking "toxic masculinity," men still uphold and enforce the transmisogyny that allowed them to obtain these privileges in the first place. their position at the top of the gender hierarchy is a great place to be, and they can only stay there by ensuring that everyone else is firmly beneath them, with trans women at the very bottom.

and let me make myself clear from the outset, before this post starts circulating around and people start adding their own additions to it. it is a failure of mainstream feminism that this topic always begins and ends with discussions about men, when the people who are the most traumatized by this phenomenon are trans women. yes, it is unfortunate that many men have been so heavily conditioned by this phenomenon that they can't so much as cry when someone near to them dies, but I have very little sympathy for those men who then turn around and enforce the very same transmisogyny onto others.

furthermore, nowhere in this post did I say that only cis men benefit from this form of transmisogyny; trans men can and do uphold it, and likewise benefit from doing so, albeit usually to a lesser extent than cis men. even if they do so because their masculinity is called into question at a far greater rate than cis men's masculinity (and thus the stakes for failing to conform are higher), it still pales in comparison to how often trans women have been harassed and assaulted for failing to conform to the expectations of masculinity that were placed upon us all our lives, expectations which most of us never wanted anything to do with.

moving forward, we need to discard "toxic masculinity" as a term and start describing it for what it is: transmisogyny. we need to center trans women in the conversation, as we're the ones who are the direct targets of transmisogyny. we need to hold tme people accountable for enforcing these overly rigid gender roles in the first place - ESPECIALLY cis men, who benefit the most from doing so. and most importantly, everyone needs to stop talking over trans women when we discuss transmisogyny by redirecting the conversation to talk about how it hurts some other group. it should be enough that it hurts us. transmisogyny is the core of so many forms of gendered oppression that challenging it directly will benefit everyone in the long run, but it will have the most immediate and profound impact on us, and I think that's an important enough reason to work to combat it.